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Becoming the Person I Want to Be

 

My parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be if I worked at it hard enough.  I’ve spent a lot of my adult life searching for who I am, forming my beliefs, and trying to be the person I want to be.  I often fall short.

 

I believe in kindness, but I’m not always kind.  I try to be patient and understanding, but I sometimes let frustration get in the way.  I believe that taking care of myself is important, but I don’t put that into practice.  But that’s been my choice; I have no one to blame for that but myself.

 

My heart is telling me I need to step up.  That to be my best self, I need to put in more effort.  I don’t disagree.  At 61, I get the feeling that it’s now or never.  I had this conversation with myself at 41 and at 51.  I don’t want to still be having this discussion with myself at 71 or 81.

 

I am so lucky to have a life I love,  and growing into a new and improved version of myself absolutely won’t change that.  In fact, it can only enhance my enjoyment of all the good things I’m thankful for and help me create even more.

 

 

I was recently reading Clair Diaz-Ortiz’s blog and she had just posted her “Word of the Year” post.  (Read about it here: Claire’s -Word of the Year- PostShe’s been doing this for several years now.  The idea is to pick a word that captures what you want your focus to be for the year.  I’ve decided to do this too.  I’m declaring 2018 the year of intention.  My word is Intentional :

 

in·ten·tion·al
inˈten(t)SH(ə)n(ə)l/
adjective
  1. done on purpose; deliberate.
    “intentional wrongdoing and harm”
    synonyms: deliberate, calculated, conscious, intended, planned, meant, studied, knowing, willful, purposeful, purposive, done on purpose, premeditated, preplanned, preconceived;

    rarewitting
    “intentional contamination of our food supply is a real threat”

 

I’m going to focus on trying to spend my time in a more intentional way.  This isn’t a New Year’s Resolution, but rather a change in my way of looking at things.  My “unintentional” method of living over the past couple years is clearly not working for me.

 

My heart is right, it’s time to step up and tame the chaos of unintentional living.  I already have a life I love, but with intention, I can turn it into a life that loves me back.

 

If you could pick one word to live by in the coming year, what would it be?  Share with us in the comments below.  Come on, it’s just one word…I’ll go first, OK?

 

About carol

Hi there, I'm Carol. I look for the beauty in everyday people and the everyday world that surrounds me. I'm a writer, a fair photographer, and I'm also a wannabe artist. I wear many other labels, but I try not to let them define me. What about you? I'd love to hear about your story!

13 Replies

  1. carol

    Intentional

  2. Lou Traylor

    des·ti·na·tion
    ˌdestəˈnāSH(ə)n/
    noun
    The place someone or something is going or being sent.
    Synonyms: journey’s end, port of call, purpose

    adjective
    Being a place that people will make a special trip to visit.

    1. carol

      Lou, That’s an interesting word to choose. Care to expand?

      1. Lou Traylor

        Not quite sure how to explain what it means, I looked up images for my word like you said. And there it was in living color… (the silhouette of a plane taking off against a beautiful sunset as a back drop) I will move from – ( a map with a push pin marking the spot) where I am – (the silhouette of a person standing on top of a mountain top, both arms extended up) to the place I feel in my soul that I should be. But then I scrolled down further and saw one that said “Life is a journey, not a destination”. So then I began to think on this some more. I’m thinking that it’s not the place I end up that matters, it’s more like bettering the experiences I have along the way. I’m tired of going from point A to point B without really living my life in between those two points. So maybe, a more appropriate word might either be journey or adventure.Either way it would speak more to HOW I get there as opposed to WHERE I am going. What do you think Sis?

        1. carol

          While I like your train of thought, I’m thinking the journey you’re taking isn’t necessarily to a physical place. The destination, no matter where you are physically, is the person you were meant to be. Becoming all you can be is hard. Facing change, disappointment, emotions – it’s not an easy path. I know because I’ve been on that path for so long and I still have such a long way to go. But I can promise you, you’re worth it. No matter where you live, YOU go with you. Making a better you will help you make better decisions and that will help you in deciding the trajectory of your life. This will also better the experiences you have in your life. Destination is a good word, just look inside for it. The outside destination will take care of itself. Just think on it a little while and see if it makes sense to you. Love you!

  3. Lynn

    Happiness– I intend to be happy with who I am. I’ve had health issues the last couple of years and for 2018 I am going to be happy with what GOD gives me for he knows what’s best for us all. Thank you for helping me look into myself for this answer and keep up the good work friend.

    1. carol

      Lynn, a very admirable guiding word. Happiness is a choice after all. I’m glad you chose it! I think it will serve you well. I’ll try to do my part and bring cake!

    1. carol

      Rachel, that’s an awesome word to choose. Not making a choice IS a choice. It’s always better to actually make the decision than to let your lack of deciding determine your fate-been there, done that. Still have issues with it occasionally. Kudos to you!

    2. Lou Traylor

      Rachel, great word! I have always made decisions based on how they would effect the people around me. And since you can’t please all the people, my decisions have generally ended up as no choice at all. It’s taken me my entire 59 1/2 years to realize, (with Carol’s help) that it is not selfish to take care of myself. And, how much better off I would be if I had used the concept of right and wrong to make decisions instead of “whose feelings am I going to hurt”. I think I’m on the right track now, but this road should have been traveled years ago. Someones feeling are bound to get hurt no matter what I do, so I might as well go with what feels right.

  4. Carol

    Ok, so go to Google and put in your word. Select “Images” and see all kinds if inspirational images for your word! I found one I’m going to print out and put up as a reminder.

  5. Feyzer

    fa·ce·tious
    fəˈsēSHəs/Submit
    adjective
    treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor; flippant.

    This will be me

    1. carol

      Wow! You’re already on it! Good job, my dear!