Are you enough? 9 things you can do to help yourself say “YES!”

 

Do you ever have that sinking feeling that you’re just not enough?  That what you have to offer to the world doesn’t hit the mark?  Well, you’re not alone.  We all feel a little bit of this from time to time.  For some of us, though, that feeling doesn’t go away.  The thing is, it’s a fear like any other.  That fear of not being enough—or not being good enough—can be overcome.

If you make mistakes or embarrass yourself sometimes, I have a newsflash: you’re not alone.  It puts you in a category called “Humanity.”  If you think you can’t do anything about it, you’re wrong.  Here are some things you can do to feel good about yourself in no time!

 

1. Don’t “bad compare” yourself with others. If you compare yourself with others in a way that always sets you up to be the loser, you’re doing it wrong.  Instead of seeing yourself as ‘the loser’, look for the opportunity in it.  None of us were born knowing how to dance, paint, play chess, write, sing.  We had to learn it.  And if someone else can learn it, you can too.  You get better at playing chess by playing those who are better than you are, not by avoiding them.  Keep in mind though, no matter how badly I’d love to sing like Whitney Houston, it’s never going to happen.  The reason being I’m not Whitney Houston.  What I can do, though, is take lessons so I can sing the best that I can.

 

2. Learn to compliment what you wish you were. When you meet someone who is really good at something, compliment them.  It probably took them a lot of time and hard work to get to that level of competence.  If it’s something you’d like to be good at, ask for some tips or advice.

 

3. Look at yourself like you look at your friends. What would you tell your friend if she had the same trait that you find totally undesirable in yourself?  Would you tell her she’s not good enough, or does your love for her see her “flaws” as quirky parts of her personality?  If she lost all her quirks trying to be good enough for the world at large, wouldn’t you miss her?  Don’t sell yourself short either.

 

4. Live up to your full potential…today. There’s a difference between doing your best and being perfect.  There’s also a difference between your best today and your best any other day.  Some days the basics are the best I can do, other days I can soar.  Do the best you can do for your circumstances today.

 

5. Realize that your past does not define you. Don’t let things that have happened in the past (or that have happened to you in the past for that matter) trap you in the past.  Don’t let them define who you are today.  Those things are not you, they are merely facts about you like your eye color or where you were born.  Being a doormat when you were younger doesn’t mean you’ll always have to be one.  We grow and change.  While others may expect you to be who you used to be, don’t let them push you into a role that no longer fits.  Own the fact that you used to be a doormat, but live who you’ve grown into.

 

6. Practice makes good enough. I used to have a huge fear of speaking in front of people.  Not of shooting my mouth off in the breakroom—I’m really good at that—but of standing up in front of people and presenting something.  One day at work, I was “volunteered” to participate in a presentation about a project I was involved in.   When it was over, I couldn’t even remember what I said.  But I made it through.  The more often I did it, the easier it got.  If you’re afraid to be yourself, keep trying anyway. Eventually, it will get easier and you’ll realize that who you really are is enough.

 

7. Imagine yourself at the Pearly Gates. You have a few questions to answer before they let you in.  This is the sum of you, what you have done with this most precious of gifts: life.

 

• Q1: What kind of car did you drive?
• Q2: What did your bank account look like?
• Q3: Did you ever go out in public in sweatpants?
• Q4: Did you ever appear on television?
• Q5: How much did you pay for the last pair of shoes you bought?

 

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with owning a nice car or an expensive pair of shoes, I’m fairly certain they won’t matter in the end.  They’re not worth chasing after exclusively when there are so many true and beautiful things out there to pursue.  It would be sad if these questions could ever sum up what your life was about.  Now, how about these questions?

 

• Q1: Did you experience the giving and receiving of love?
• Q2: Did you help someone along the way?
• Q3: Did you enjoy and nurture the natural world around you?
• Q4: Did you find the gifts you were given and use them to benefit someone other than yourself?
• Q5: When you woke up each morning, did you appreciate the gift of another fresh start?

Don’t go for the superficial life.  Be the real person you know you can be.

8. Steer clear of people who make you feel less than you are. Keep in mind, that when someone maligns your character, it says much more about their character than it does about yours.   Walk away.  Be the bigger person.  None of us needs that in our lives.

 

9. When all else fails, learn to laugh at yourself. My sister went back to college in her 50’s.  She stood up from her seat one day and passed some serious gas.  Not a dainty poot, mind you, it was loud enough for the whole class of twenty-somethings to hear.  Talk about embarrassing!  Instead of hiding in her embarrassment, she looked towards the class and said, “Oh, yeah?  Wait ‘till you get to be my age!”

 

 

Those seemingly perfect people you are trying to be like, they’re not perfect.  Chances are, they’re as lost as the rest of us.  Aren’t we all just trying to jump through the same hoops?  Aren’t we all hiding behind cloaks of who we think we should be and ignoring the precious gift of who we are?

Instead, love yourself.  Dare to be yourself.  Don’t try to change yourself in ways that feel wrong to you just to please someone else or to be who you think you “should” be.

Who you are is enough—you need not be more than that—and that’s good enough for me!  After all, you’re the only you we’ve got!

 

Do you think you are enough?  Have you got an “I am enough” story?  A reason why you don’t feel like you’re enough?  I invite you to share your thoughts with us.  

 

 

 

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